This here is the East Tennessee Redneck's Guide to Computer Lingo
  
  LOG ON:           Making the woodstove hotter
  
  LOG OFF:          Don't add no more wood
  
  MONITOR:          Keepin an eye on that woodstove
  
  DOWNLOAD:         Gettin the farwood ofn the truk
  
  MEGA HERTZ:       When yer not keerful gettin that farwood downloaded
  
  FLOPPY DISK:      Whatca git from tryin to carry too much farwood
  
  RAM:              That thar thang whut splits th farwood
  
  HARD DRIVE:       Gettin home in th winter taim
  
  PROMPT:           Whut th mail ain't in th winter taim
  
  WINDOWS:          Whut to shut when its cold outside
  
  SCREEN:           Whut to shut when its blak fly season
  
  BYTE:             Whut them dang flys do
  
  CHIP:             Muchies fer th TV
  
  MICRO CHIP:       Whuts left in th munchie bag
  
  INFRARED:         Whur th left over munchies go, Fred eats em
  
  MODEM:            Whatca did to the hay fields
  
  DOT MATRIX:       Ol Dan Matrix's wife
  
  LAP TOP:          Whur th kitty sleeps
  
  KEYBOARD:         Whur ya hang th dang keys
  
  SOFTWARE:         Them dang plastik forks and knifs
  
  MOUSE:            What eats th grain in th barn
  
  MAIN FRAME:       Holds up th barn ruf
  
  PORT:             Fancy Flatlander Wine
  
  ENTER:            Northern fer c'mon in y'all
  
  RANDOM ACCESS     When ya caint member whut ya paid for yer new rifle when
  MEMORY:           yore wife asks.