COMPUTER SAYINGS

   Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.

   COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key

   Buy a Pentium/90 so you can reboot faster.

   2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.

   Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

   Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.

   My software never has bugs.  It just develops random features.

   <-------- The information went data way -------->

   Best file compression around:  "DEL *.*" = 100% compression

   The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.

   BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding

   The name is Baud......, James Baud.

   Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!

   As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.

   Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)

   E Pluribus Modem

   ... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

   CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted:  Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/n)?

   Does fuzzy logic tickle?

   A computer's attention span is as long as its power cord.

   Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.

   RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.

   All computers wait at the same speed.

   DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors.

   Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....

   Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...

   ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!

   All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?

   Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.

   Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt-driven.

   Hit any user to continue.

   Disk Full - Press F1 to belch.

   (A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer?

   Programmers don't die, they just GOSUB without RETURN.

   Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing
   with inanimate objects.

   Real programmers don't document.  If it was hard to write, it
   should be hard to understand.