THE SETTING:
A quiet bar in a Scottish village. A young man is talking with an old Scotsman.

Old Man:
"Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well
it's built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands.
I piled it for months.

But do they call me McGreggor-the Fence-Builder? Nooo..."

Then the old man gestured at the bar.

"Look here at the bar. Do ya see how smooth and just it is? I planed
that surface down by me own achin' back. I carved that wood with me
own hard labour, for eight days.

But do they call me McGreggor-the-Bar-Builder? Nooo..."

Then the old man points out the window.
"Eh, Laddy, look out to sea. Do ya see that wharf that stretches out
as far as the eye can see? I built that wharf with the sweat off me
back and the power of me own arms. I nailed it board by board.

But do they call me McGreggor-the-Pier-Builder? Nooo..."

Then the old man looks around nervously, trying to make sure no one
is paying attention.

"But ya screw one goat........"